- People get hundreds of e-mails a day, and you’re sending them one in the entire month, you and your brand are lost.
Too conversational. I think I know what this person is trying to say, but this needs a rewrite.
- This is a co-sponsored event with Student Alumni Board and allows current student and alumnae to visit and network.
Current students.
- This 7 day course is only the beginning.
7-day course. Need that hyphen. (And, oh, joy—it’s “only the beginning”!)
- If you choose not to utilize one of the pieces, your outcome – your growth in your community might not be as fast or as high.
Wow, is that a hyphen sitting there all by its lonesome? That should be a dash, and, since it’s an appositive phrase, you need a second dash, like so:
If you choose not to utilize one of the pieces, your outcome—your growth in your community—might not be as fast or as high.
I don’t like being lectured by someone who can’t write. That person’s…what? Lack of skill? Ignorance? Sloppiness? seriously diminishes his or her authority.
- The two hours, at your discretion, that you can use for changes to your website. If you do not use it, the hours go away.
That first sentence makes no sense. And then there’s more confusion because the writer used “it” to refer to “the two hours.” I think.
- Why? Because we ask questions. Lot of them.
Yeah, yeah, you ask “lot” of questions. Sure you do.
- Unfortunately most of the jewelry from this time period has been lost or melted down over the years, please don’t miss your chance to own this special piece of history!
Taking a break from sloppy content writers, here we have a lovely comma splice. There are a couple of options here:
Unfortunately most of the jewelry from this time period has been lost or melted down over the years; please don’t miss your chance to own this special piece of history!
Unfortunately most of the jewelry from this time period has been lost or melted down over the years. Please don’t miss your chance to own this special piece of history!
(I’m not keen on this next, but it’s correct.)
Unfortunately most of the jewelry from this time period has been lost or melted down over the years, so please don’t miss your chance to own this special piece of history!
I wouldn’t have used an exclamation point, either.
- Amazing Visuals: A business website is more about how it looks. We load websites with some amazing graphics/pictures to get visitors attention and so that it compels users to learn more about your business.
Visitors’ attention. And what’s that bit about “and so that it compels…”? Yuck!
- SEO- friendly: Your business contains essential meta-tags that help Google recognize your website and the industry you operate in to show it relevant visitors.
I’m confused. Does this company mean “to show it to relevant visitors”?
PayPal Integration: Business websites with PayPal provide easy payment option to their customers.
Business websites with PayPal provide an easy payment option—is that what this company is trying to say? Or is it supposed to read “easy payment options”?
- It is not necessary to have an invitation to visit a chapter, however it is best to contact the president of the chapter prior to the visit.
Comma splice alert! You cannot join two complete sentences with a comma. What I would do is this: It is not necessary to have an invitation to visit a chapter; however, it is best to contact the president of the chapter prior to the visit.
- Search the map using a region, city, zip code, state name or abbreviation (e.g. Sarasota, FL).
Need that comma after “e.g.” Always. Ditto “i.e.”
- Sunshine Web Marketing is a Sarasota, Florida based internet marketing company serving the entire suncoast.
Florida-based internet marketing company.
And, for this purpose, I’d opine that “Suncoast” is a proper noun, and so should be capitalized. And, FYI, that isn’t its real name….
- Our Sarasota based firm will design you a WordPress website or blog to fit both your needs and your budget.
Sarasota-based firm. And I’m not keen on “design you.” Very loose. Drop the “you.”
- What is happening, who’s fault is it and how do you fix it?
Who’s? Wow. It’s whose. And I’d use a serial comma.
- 4 things clients say that cause web professional’s frustration:
Don’t start a sentence, or, in this case, a phrase, with a numeral. Plus, it’s web professionals frustration; though, now that I look at it, it could be “web professionals’ frustration.” Interesting. It could be a descriptive phrase or plural possessive. At any rate, what it ain’t is “web professional’s frustration”!
- In fact, as she tells “Oprah: Where Are They Now?”, she still refuses to refer to Simpson as anything other than “the killer.”
This is a great time to learn an unusual rule: Commas are always placed inside quotation marks. Oh, you knew that already? Well, this writer was obviously confused by the question mark inside the quotation mark, but that doesn’t have a thing to do with the rule about commas. I know it looks a little strange, and it is unusual, but here’s how it should look:
In fact, as she tells “Oprah: Where Are They Now?,” she still refuses to refer to Simpson as anything other than “the killer.”
- Dr. X is a two-time international award-winning author, an internationally-recognized speaker, and subject matter expert in the field of personal development.
Never hyphenate an –ly adverb.
- His passion for teaching and positively impacting peoples lives has been recognized globally.
“Peoples” is incorrect. What this person meant was “people’s.” You could also make a case for plural possessive—peoples’—if you meant “the peoples’ of the Arctic Circle are loosely connected.” (You could come up with a better sentence I’m sure; I just came up with that one on the fly.)
- As we all know, professional athletes, movie stars, business managers, CEOs, and world political leaders use coaches because they pinpoint the limitations that are holding them back from achieving the success that they seek.
Okay, pronoun confusion. The first “they” refers to coaches, the “them” refers to all the other people, and then “they” refers to the other people. Rewrite.
- If you have heard a deep “sigh” while discussing your project chances are you have made one or more of the following errors.
Whoa, Nelly! I hope no one ever hears a deep “sigh” at any moment in life! I suppose it’s not that bad—just take out the quotation marks and leave the italics. But then, because you’ve started with a dependent clause, you’ve got to have a comma after “project.”
Sigh. Save me from overly dramatic web content writers who can’t write!
- As the automobile made the horse and carriage obsolete; solar, wind and robots will disrupt our view of energy.
You cannot use a semicolon here. Semicolons separate complete sentences, and that “As the automobile” phrase is just that: a phase. I’d say this:
As the automobile made the horse and carriage obsolete, so solar, wind, and robots will completely change our view of energy.
(I think “disrupt” is too trendy.)
- This is for those of you that would like to maintain your own blog, website or facebook page. Instruction can be by the individual project, such as posting new pictures, or it can be an intensive study of Facebook ads, either way we can assist you.
Whew, “facebook” and “Facebook” in contiguous sentences. Sloppy. Plus, that “you” should be followed by “who,” not “that.” Plus (oh, yes, there is more!), this is a comma splice: you need to stick a semicolon after “ads,” not a comma.
These last two sentences came from a fellow who claims to have been a copywriter for 30 years.
- My apologies if some of the verbiage “rubs you the wrong way”.
Ho, ho! Unless he’s been a copywriter on Uranus, he’d know that you put your commas and periods inside quotation marks.
- Simple tell them… “My PR guys are on it!”
Bro-ther! You’d think a “copywriter” would at least cast an eye on his prose prior to publishing, but no!
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