I got an email today from an organization I just joined. I’ve already mentioned my initial worries about this group, and I can now say that my fears were justified.
Writing like this has no place in a professional email. I am not going to let you look at the material without a list of the things that are not to professional standards, editing-wise. I know I usually post my quizzes, let you digest them for a week (or longer!), and then come back with the answers, but not today. These editing thoughts and a short temper flew out of my forehead like Athena springing from the forehead of Zeus, fully armored and ready for battle.
Take a gander at this prose! And don’t forget that this is what I’d call “standard language”; in other words, it is pre-written and goes out to all members. By the way, everyone, “members” is not a proper noun and so is not capitalized. (The organization doesn’t know that rule, either.)
An Edit of Three Sequential Sentences
All Webinars are scheduled and listed in US PACIFIC TIME. Use the Add To Calendar link to have it added to your calendar in the correct time zone or to convert to your timezone, please click here: XXXX.
Most webinars are scheduled for 30 minutes for the lesson plus Q&A.
*****
Off the top of my head, I see these mistakes:
Time zone:
The proper way to express California’s time zone is Pacific Standard Time or Pacific Daylight Time. Spell it out on first use; if you are going to use it again, then put the acronym next to the first use, and use the acronym alone on subsequent uses, like this: Pacific Standard Time (PST). If a business has clients all over the world but is headquartered in California (and this business is and does), I would not bother with “US.” However, having said that, the use of “US” is to be avoided in all but the most informal writing: Either spell out “United States,” or, in informal writing, you can write “U.S.” (Those last several quotes are mine.)
Why italics anywhere? Change all italicized content back to a regular font.
“Webinar” is not a proper noun, so lowercase it.
Plus (related) there’s inconsistency because “webinar” is spelled lowercase later.
I think button names should be in quotes: “Add to Calendar.”
Note to self: check to see if that is what the button is called; it’s on another page.
Note to you: There is no such button as “Add to Calendar.” Surprise!
Time zone versus timezone. Geez, how do you miss that??? (It gets worse: the next page reads Time Zone.)
Writing Suggestion: don’t like the two “for” uses in last sentence and would rewrite as “Most webinars last 30 minutes.”
So, bottom line, we have half-dozen mistakes at least in a three-sentence sequence.
If you are involved in an organization that can’t write worth a darn, it’s time to push back.
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