1) But instead, he has defeated attitude.
Frankly, to me, he comes off unprofessional.
No surprise that these two sentences are from the same writer (I will not call this person an “author.”) Okay, first thing: no italics. Italics is for emphasis and not appropriate here. Also, italics should be used sparingly, and this person littered his content with italics. Second thing: each sentence seems to be missing something…a word, perhaps? You can’t have “defeated attitude,” but you can have “a defeated attitude.” You can’t come off “unprofessional,” but you can come off “as unprofessional,” which I believe this person has done amazingly well. Plus, and last thing, “come off” is too colloquial for anything but conversation.
2) Last week I sent out an email about how poorly Carolina Panther’s Quarterback, Cam Newton, handled his interview after the Super Bowl.
Lots of little things doom this sentence. I would have said “the” Carolina Panthers. Quarterback is not a proper noun and shouldn’t be capitalized. Do the Panthers only have one quarterback? I bet they have a couple, so I would not have enclosed the name of this quarterback in commas. See, the name is what’s called “parenthetical information,” and so should be removable without confusing the reader.
3) Housed in Orlando’s popular East End Market, Bookmark It was designed to compliment East End’s eat/shop local philosophy and features books that not only support the destination’s other vendors and workshops, but provides a platform, both via shelf space and events, for Central Florida’s writing community…or, as they coined it, our “locally grown words.”
This is a huge misspelling and indefensible content from a book store: the word is spelled complement.
Pus, there’s the “not…but” clause here. No commas in a “not…but” or “not only…but” clause.
4) It is comprised of a jacket and a skirt.
No, no. Larger things are composed of smaller things: a suit is composed of pieces. A jacket and skirt can comprise a suit. “Comprised of” is never correct.
5) Sree often describes his work as “operating a startup in a 150-year old organization”.
Multiple mistakes. Commas and periods are always placed inside quotation marks in American English. There are no exceptions. Also, there’s a hyphen problem: this should read 150-year-old organization.
6) Note: Each person will be responsible for their own meal.
Remember: the noun drives the bus. “Each person” is singular, and so needs a singular pronoun, which means you’ve got to say “his or her” own meal.
7) His fun, fast-paced presentation will give attendees several actionable tips to use right away – how to incorporate innovative technologies, engage partners and drive change for the organization’s greater good.
Here’s a great example of when to use a colon. This is the “namely” rule: when you are about to present a list of items or elaborate on what you’ve just said and you could use “namely,” you use a colon. Lots of time a colon is triggered by a sentence that contains something like “The number one reason to use our product,” or “There are five rules you need to follow,” or, as in this case, “There are several actionable tips [namely] this, that, and the other thing.”
In this situation, the writer used a dash. A dash creates a full stop, and the material after the dash should be related but separate-able. If there are two dashes, the material inside the dashes should be material that could be removed from the sentence and the sentence should still make sense.
Since this sentence contains a list, the list should be preceded by a colon.
8) Deanna Walker, a nationally recognized community engagement expert will share tools for building communities, the impact of social media and essential strategies for marketing and engaging diverse audiences.
Here’s an example of a missing comma. Remember, when there is a pair of commas, dashes, or parentheses (which have to come in pairs), you must be able to remove all the information inside and still have a workable sentence. The information inside the commas, dashes, or parentheses is called parenthetical information. Here we have a name, information about the person named, and further information. Okay. Who is “Deanna Walker”? Why, she’s a “nationally recognized community engagement expert.” (Whatever that is.) So you’d need a comma after “expert” because that phrase explains who Ms. Walker is, but is not necessary to the sentence.
9) We are the world’s largest business networking, referrals and word of mouth marketing organization.
I don’t like this sentence one bit. “Word-of-mouth” should have been hyphenated. “Referrals” should be singular. And, because these are all coordinate adjectives modifying “organization,” they should all be separated by a comma: business networking, referral, and word-of-mouth marketing organization.
10) Are you ready to start connecting with you client via mobile marketing for your product or services?
Well, major miss on “your” client. Plus, I’d use “clients,” since everyone needs more than one.
11) Someone looking for a change or improvement for themselves or their business
This is a sentence fragment, not a complete sentence, and so should be rewritten. Aside from the missing period, remember: the noun drive the bus. Here we have “someone,” which is singular, and you can’t pair a singular noun with a plural pronoun: someone looking for him- or herself or his or her business. Such a drag! Use “people” instead and it smooths out a bit.
12) Enter search information below and select “Find”.
Quotation marks are always placed outside periods and commas in American English. Geez.
13) The philosophy of our organization is built upon the idea of “Givers Gain”.
When you have someone editing your website who doesn’t know the rules, you can count on the fact that that person will make the same mistake over and over and over again.
14) In their written complaint, Mr. Bollea’s lawyers called the posting a “massive, highly-intrusive and long-lasting invasion of Mr. Bollea’s privacy” and claimed that at least seven million people had viewed it.
Never hyphenate an –ly adverb: I hope the lawyers didn’t exactly say “highly-intrusive”!
15) To proceed, open your download folder and locate the Adobe Flash Player Installer file, named like “FlashPlayer.exe”.
COMMAS AND PERIODS ARE always PLACED INSIDE quotation marks in American English.
16) “A person can look put together without appearing too rigid or too extravagant, “says Adolfo.
Ah, Adolfo might have manufactured the world’s coolest ladies’ clothes back in the day, but he needs to watch his quotation marks. These directional quotation marks need to face “inside” at the beginning of a sentence and “away” at the end. There’s an extra space after the comma, which triggered the wrong-way quotation mark.
17) She earned a Degree in criminal justice administration at Florida International University and Master’s Degree in human resource administration from St. Thomas University.
“Degree” is not a proper noun and should not be capitalized.
18) Join Kim Cavendish, President/ CEO of the Museum of Discovery and Science for a warm welcome to Convening Culture 2016 served alongside light food and drink {cash bar}.
I’d rewrite this sentence entirely, but the point of showing it is to say that there are virtually no circumstances in American English in which you’d use a pair of what are called “braces.” Braces are used primarily in music and in poetry and in such rare occasions that I can’t think of one offhand. (And this isn’t one of them!) Parentheses were what was needed here.
19) Join Florida’s Secretary of State, Ken Detzner and members of the Florida Council on Arts and Culture to celebrate the remarkable career achievements and impact of two exceptional Florida artists being inducted into the Florida Artists Hall of Fame – Jane Davis Doggett and Romero Britto.
Dump the comma between Secretary of State and Mr. Detzner’s name, since that creates confusion: will you be joining Florida’s Secretary of State and Mr. Detzner?
20) Attendees will choose one intensive session presented by nationally-recognized experts.
Never hyphenate an –ly adverb.
Recent Comments